Phish.net > Charts > Narration Chart: "Harpua", 1988-06-21

TREY: Once upon a time, there was a dog. And once upon a time, there was… a little boy, and this little boy had a pet that he loved very much. This pet was not a dog. Everyday the little boy would come from school and he would feed his pet, play with his pet, rub its back. It would purr happily. It was just a really nice nice thing.

And this would be a nice nice story if that’s the way it ended. But unfortunately that’s not the way this story ends because this boy’s little pet, this boy’s big pet, was a cat, a big furry white cat, and the cat’s name was, the cat’s name was, the cat’s name was… Ps… Poster Nutbag

Anyway you might be saying right now, why did you start this story by saying once upon a time there was a dog if this was a story about a boy and his cat. Well that’s because the first song we sang was called me and Harpua, and Harpua was a mean ugly dog, a bull dog, whose favorite pastime is to go around eating little children. When he can’t sink his teeth into a warm hot meal that’s a little kid, he’ll eat anything else he can get his paws on.

One day, Harpua was wandering through town slowly putting one paw in front of the other, moseying through the bad section of town, moseying through the mediocre section of town, until he came to the rich section of town, the section of town that held the house that held the little boy and the little cat. He wandered around the corner and came face to face with Poster Nutbag.

A sly grin came over Harpua’s face as he saw the tasty delicacy standing in front of him. Poster Nutbag coiled his “aug-oddy” into a deadly arch, the fur standing up on the end of his back. A hungry drop of saliva dripped out of Harpua’s mouth on to the ground below.

Look the storm’s gone…