Phish.net > Charts > Narration Chart: "Harpua", 1992-04-22

TREY: Well, it’s a very funny situation tonight that we should be in this particular room in this particular town because the story that we’re singing about actually took place not far from here, and it was on an Earth Day just like today a long time ago.

As a matter of fact, that man sitting right over there, after all these years, [TREY giggles] is the hero of this story. That’s right. Because before he shaved off that huge beard he had he was the big, ugly, evil man that used to live up in the woods, right north of here, up in the mountains way up in the trees. And, he lived up there with his evil dog, Harpua.

That’s what this story is about. It was a few years back on a day just like today and there was a band that he played the drums in, that man right right there. Paul, can you turn off Fish’s microphone before i say this next part of the story?

FISH: 623! Room 623!

TREY: Anyways, so here he was playing in this band and he came down for Earth Day with his ugly dog Harpua. They were gonna play in the band. That night they were going to be staying in that very hotel that they were playing in. Up in the hotel, this guy over here, Johnny, was sitting up in the hotel after the gig with his cat and he wanted to have a huge party and he wanted to invite everybody in the room. Guess what room he was staying in, all you had to do was go up to the room after the gig, room number…

It was just like today, just like tonight after the gig, a huge party in his room, and he was staying in room number…

FISH: I was staying in room number 623.

TREY: Ok so here he was, he was up in his room, he was looking down at his little cat. Everybody was trying to find what room he was staying in so they could barge into his room all night and bother him. And then suddenly it occurred to him what if when he was on stage that night, he just yelled some random room so that suddenly hundreds of people just started going up and knocking on some random person’s door.

FISH: Right...

TREY: Anyway, he looked down and saw his little cat next to him. This cat, Johnny’s cat, was named...

CROWD: What’s his name?

TREY: His name was...

CROWD: What was his name?

TREY: The cat’s name was...

CROWD: What was his name?

TREY: The kitties name was...

CROWD: What was his name?

TREY: The cat’s name was...

CROWD: What was his name?

TREY: His name was Pfffff. The cat’s name was Pfffff. The cat’s name he named the cat Pfffff pfffff pfffff pffffff Poster Nutbag. Poster Nutbag wanted to leave the party because he didn’t like staying in a hotel room with hundreds of people and Fish.

So he walked downstairs, he came down to the elevator and he managed to get in the elevator. He came down and went outside. That’s where Fish had left, Johnnie had left, the evil Harpua. Puster Nutbag walked around the corner, not knowing he would run into the evil Harpua.

But when he walked around the corner he saw the ugly mangy dog. And the dog looked at the and the cat looked the dog. There was going to be an awful fight. Harpua growled. Poster Nutbag coiled his body into a deadly arch. Harpua let a tiny drip of saliva drip onto the ground. The fight was about to begin...

Look, the storm’s gone...

MIKE: Jimmy…

PAGE: Yes dad?

MIKE: Jimmy i have some bad news

PAGE: My name is not Jimmy it’s Johnny, Johnny Fishman...